![]() I made a concerted effort to write down three things each day that made me happy or grateful, or some beautiful or special moments from the day I wanted to be able to look back on. I think I mentioned this in an earlier blog post, but around Thanksgiving break, I realized the semester was almost over and I felt like I couldn’t remember any of it. Examples: I got out of bed! I made that bed! I flossed my teeth today! I finished a reading on time! I ate lunch! I drank water! I made it to all my classes! I hugged a friend and told them I loved them! Relishing small victories is doing this same thing but applying it to yourself. I always try to appreciate the small things in life: like petting a dog, how the sun looks through branches and leaves, the sky, drinking some tea, the way a small bird hops up a tree, etc. I’m not sure how much that carried through into finals week (unfortunately), but the sentiment was certainly there. I left that conversation with a renewed goal to celebrate the small victories in my life. This was an important and needed exercise. When I voiced all of these thoughts to my close friend, they asked me to name 5 things about me that are special and good that aren’t related at all to my grades or the things I do. But somehow, being a sophomore now, it feels harder to recognize my progress because so much of what I did doesn’t feel new, even if it is. I say this to show that I still put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve. I don’t say this to brag about my past successes. ![]() When I got to college, I had expected to have to adjust my standards, but my first year at Oberlin I did well enough that I still have (maybe unhealthily) high standards. I have always had high standards and always put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve. I felt that without performing in dance productions, there was no way that I was visible on campus (which is a whole other issue for a future blog post), and that any possible measure of my accomplishment or progress was measured only by my grades. Probably a month ago, I had gotten a lower grade on an exam than I wanted, and I went to spend time with a dear friend, who comforted me as I cried over a litany of ~feelings~. But still, as I ended this semester, my dominant emotion wasn’t pride or a sense of accomplishment, I was just…tired. Of course, when I think about it objectively, I did manage to do some new things more or less successfully, like being a PAL, joining a co-op, making new friends, doing reasonably well in my classes, and declaring two majors (ok, so I admit this is like, kind of a lot). I had survived my first semester of college! I had made friends and done new things and become more independent! I had done well in all my classes! This semester, recognizing progress seemed so nebulous. After finishing my first semester of college, I felt a well-deserved sense of accomplishment and progress. Marking my progress and accomplishments with shows and good grades was easy and kept my confidence up. During high school, in addition to trying my best to be a dedicated student, I was in three professional ballet productions a year. I feel like I went through a wormhole, ripped out of time, emerging disoriented in a galaxy that I may or may not know.įor me it has been harder to measure success in college than it was in high school. I feel like nothing and everything happened and now I’m home for six weeks without taking in any of it. ![]() It’s odd to say this, but I don’t remember much of this past semester. My first semester at Oberlin went by quickly in its own way, but every little accomplishment was something to be proud of, and by the end of the semester, I felt like a cycle had passed and I had been so vividly aware and conscious for all of it. When things happen fast, it’s easy to forget them. I was busybusybusy, emerged, didn’t have time to process anything, and now I’m home writing this post after four months of not seeing my family or my mountains. Like the rest of my semester, reaching the end of finals week this semester felt a bit like those short but arduous journeys through freezing rain. I kept my head down, pedaled hard, hoped I wouldn’t hit anything, and arrived, disheveled and mildly out of breath, at my destination. ![]() Much of my fall semester felt like an uphill bike ride from Tank to campus during a small blizzard. This year I left my finals imbued with a sense of anti-climax (and some anxiety about how my Linguistics exam had just gone). Resources and Support for Conservatory Studentsįinishing finals week my first year at Oberlin felt like a relief and a victory.Resources and Support for College Students. ![]()
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